It’s time for episode 2 of The Courtship!
Lady Pudding, my cantankerous, opinionated, 16 year old Siamese, has retreated to her cozy bed with her catnip egg to watch tonight’s episode.
(Yes, I know she needs to be brushed. I get about 3 strokes of the brush in before she slaps the fuck out of me. Springtime shedding will be a work in progress.)
We open with Nicole and her family having tea.
Nicole reflects, “Young Nicole wouldn’t find herself in this position because she didn’t feel beautiful. She didn’t feel seen.”
Pudding: You are gorgeous, my dear.
We cut to the Suitors Quarters (they are staying in a separate building). Himbo Mr. Saffa says he’s not worried about the other guys because he’s 6’3″….
They get a paper called The Daily Tea that tells them about the events for the day.
Click for Mr. Saffa
The Suitors, Nicole and her Court go boating on a lake. Mr. Hunter says he and his family lived on a sailboat for awhile when he was a kid. Mr. King says he used to take his mom out rowing. Nicole says “That’s so sweet.”
Mr. Saffa and Captain Kim take the boat with Mr. and Mrs. Rémy, recognizing that impressing the parents is an important thing in this show. Mr. Saffa says his strategy is “suns out, guns out” and takes off his shirt.
We need to talk about Captain Kim’s hair. It’s very tall. My working theory is that they had their cellphones confiscated and he’s hiding a burner in there.
There are a bunch of swans on the lake which upsets Lady Pudding because she had a feud with a swan back in ’08 and she’s still not forgiven them as a species.
Pudding: Vile birds.
Captain Kim says that when he was in boot camp, his high school sweetheart broke up with him via her Facebook relationship status.
Pudding also has a thing against Facebook.
Pudding: Fuck Zuckerberg.
There are three guys without a family member in their boat so they serenade the group with Row, Row, Row Your Boat.
Nicole says of Mr. Shanklin, “I don’t need to hear him sing Row, Row, Row Your Boat in a sexual way.”
Then they throw themselves in the lake making their shirts transparent.
Next up they have a picnic and Mr. Chapman impresses Nicole with his “piercing” blue eyes. Nicole says she loves to read, which makes me adore her more. She struggles with whether or not Mr. Luxe is “too cool.”
Mr. King tells her he was raised by a single mom, and that she passed away three months ago. A month after that his brother passed away. He tears up and Nicole tells him he’s strong. His story makes her cry as well.
Mr. and Mrs. Rémy pick Mr. Hunter to go on a one-on-one date with Nicole. Mr. Rémy was impressed when Mr. Hunter talked about his willingness to relocate for his wife’s career. Mrs. Rémy is a physician and Mr. Rémy had to move to accommodate her work. He believes that a strong and mature man is willing to make changes for his wife’s career.
For their date they tour the castle. They even see her bedroom.
Pudding: THE SCANDAL!
Mr. Hunter says that when he was 9 his parents moved the family onto a sailboat. They spent the next six years traveling the world. Later, Nicole and Mr. Hunter kiss.
Back at the Suitors Quarters the dudes speculate about who will get the first kiss. Mr. Bochicchio doesn’t reveal that he already kissed Nicole.
Pudding: A true gentleman.
The narrator and host, Mr. Edwards says, “As the house staff stare ominously out into the darkness, it’s time for the Farewell Ball.”
I love this host.
Five of the suitors are on her dance card, facing possible elimination: Mr. Cones, Captain Kim, Mr. Mumbray, Mr. Luxe and Mr. Kesseler.
Nicole tells Mr. Mumbray that she wants him to spend more time with her family. Mrs. Baker tells Ms. Cleary she really likes him.
Nicole tells Mr. Cones that he’s only on her dance card so she can spend more time with him.
She says farewell to Mr. Luxe, saying she doesn’t feel like he sees her. The other suitors don’t like the fact that he isn’t respectful enough to say goodbye to her family.
Pudding gives him such a glare.
Captain Kim and his giant hair stay. Mr. Kesseler says farewell.
That’s it for this week. Are you watching?